Angela's Online Discussion Group

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Angela's Online Discussion Group
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Re: if you only knew what i had to endure at PCS 1998-2000

Wow, Jesse, thank you for sharing this. Sometimes I feel like no one in the world gets how I feel when I start remembering PCS, and then a read an account like yours, and it's hard, because it's emotional, but it also makes me feel less alone. I'm so sorry about what happened to your friends- it's devastating. I was at the Orem campus in 1999. The PCS staff were so mean, just so brutally, unnecessarily mean to all the kids. I'm 24 now and for almost a decade now I've been having these horrible recurring nightmares where I get sent back again- because this happens all the time: kids get sent back to PCS to start the indefinite "program" all over again. I keep having these dreams. I put off going to bed because I'm afraid I'll have this nightmare-- It's just such soul-crushing place. It's like you have to constantly think about every thing you do, think, say, your body language, facial expressions, sentence structure, glances, timing, etc. 24/7. That's the **** program. It has nothing to do with rehabilitation and everything to do with presentation... ability to put-on confidence and charm while some poor kid howls while she gets her teeth pushed into the floor. It's Apathy School. I regret all the times I acted like nothing was happening when a kid was getting dial 9'd. I really feel guilty about it. I'm still realizing both the uniqueness and the utter wrongness of the experience--