I left my husband a little over a week ago, because he was getting increasingly agitated and rough with my 6 year old son. He was twisting his ears (hard enough to leave bruises and for my son to complain that his ear was hurting), grabbing him by the back of the neck and squeezing (my son has been complaining of his neck hurting). He also has smacked him on the back hard enough to leave welts, he punches him in the legs, pinches him, pulls his hair, he even punched him in the stomach once in my presence. A lot of the things were going on when I wasn't there, and my husband would lie about things, saying that he didn't grab his neck, but his shirt. Or he would downplay it all, saying that my son was making up stories.He belittles him, calls him names, screams at him. I started witnessing what was going on a month ago, and tried to intervene, with little luck. I was afraid to leave for a number of reasons, the worst being that he would somehow get visitation, ans I would be unable to stop it. Finally, my son had stomach pains and dry heaves for the past few weeks, and was terrified to be alone with his father. He was acting out by this time, refusing to listen to me, kicking, biting, hitting, etc.He was also starting to injure himself by banging his head, biting and scratching himself, etc.
I left, and went to my mom's,last week. the holidays are coming up. I have made it clear to my H that he is not to have my son overnight. I had a decision to make today. My H has a daughter ( whom he does not abuse) and they were going shopping to get her mother and myself a gift. My son was asked to go. He went. I checked in every hour by phone, met with them once, and still went crazy.My son wanted to go, he just does not want to spend the night, which I would never allow. I feel that I am still putting my son in harm's way with these short visits, however, and am sick with worry. To complicate matters, my H has a drug problem, and while he does not do them in front of the kids, he falls into uncontrollable rages.
I do not trust him. Every time I am around him, he tries to win me back.
His mother seems to think that he will calm down now that I have left...thinking that I will reward him for good behavior. That is a laugh.
I just feel so helpless. I can't let my son go through any more. He has pediatric bipolar disorder, and I know he is rough at times, but if I can cope with him without harming him, why can't my H???
I am just really hurt by all of this, and so close to Christmas. How do you deal with an abusive person, when you are disentangling yourself and still allow your child to have some sense of normalcy???
This HURTS...