| Subject: |
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A little different perspective |
| Name: |
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Debbie |
| Date Posted: |
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Sep 10, 04 - 7:30 AM |
| Email: |
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tigtink@comcast.net |
| Message: |
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Dear Julia,
I know you feel like you have let slip the one chance you've had to find someone with whom you feel safe, but perhaps if you shift your perspective just a degree or two, you could see things a little differently.
A year ago, you had resigned yourself to believing you would never experience real love or be able to be intimate with anyone sexually without hating every moment of it. You had no idea you might be able to love another woman, or that it would be OK if you did.
Today, you are hurt, deeply, and wondering if you will ever find love again. But, much different than only a few months ago, you now KNOW you are capable of passion and deep feelings of love, and you know that someone else was able to find love and safety in your arms. As hard as it is to believe right now, there are others who will be able to love you in the same way, in a more mature and lasting way.
You know the biggest obstacle is the unfinished emotional business you've been saddled with because of the terribly unfair and cruel things done to you as an innocent child. Although healing is hard and takes time, I know from experience it can be done, and it can in time open you to the kind of relationship you want and deserve. You've already begun the journey. Find out what the rest of us have learned: you did not deserve to be abused, and with the right kind of help and some hard work on your part, you don't have to be sentenced to a lifetime of loneliness and pain.
I'm learning so much in my astrology studies right now about how we all have difficult backgrounds, to one extent or another, to overcome as we move through life. It is supposed to be that way--it is how we learn who we are and what we can become. This does NOT mean we deserved to be abused or that the abuse is in any way a good thing, but it does mean that what we have experienced is part of a larger process that can lead us toward wholeness. It is so hard to look beyond the pain and despair and see a way to something better, but if you can at least for a moment get a glimpse of what is possible, you can find the courage to reach for it.
It's a lot to ask, I know, at a time when you are hurting so much. But if you can try and look at things from this perspective, maybe you can find a thread to hold onto that will get you through these rough times.
I hope this helps a little. I'll be sending you lots of love.
Debbie |
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