| Subject: |
|
Re: Re: Consequences |
| Name: |
|
Debbie |
| Date Posted: |
|
Jun 6, 04 - 4:21 PM |
| Email: |
|
tigtink@comcast.net |
| Message: |
|
Dear Julia,
I can hear the pain in your words, and I wish I had some simple answers for you. What I'm hearing in your writing is that you are not at all sure right now about what you feel and what you want, yet you feel pressured into making some sort of decision. The problem is, finding out what is best for you is a process, not a decision, and it is going to take some time.
Do you really need to decide, once and for all, right now, whether to commit to your boyfriend or leave him to be with your lady? If they both really love you, they should be willing to give you some time to figure out what you want to do. I believe you said you are not living with your boyfriend now. Is it really that urgent that you make up your mind now, when you are still so confused?
I don't feel like I "decided" to become a lesbian. I decided to take whatever time and effort it took to discover what I needed to do to heal and to create some true happiness and peace for myself. It's not a simple matter of weighing the pros and cons and deciding which road to take. Remember, your trust was violated in the most heinous way when you were a child. It takes time to learn how to trust your feelings. You deserve that time, however long it takes.
This morning I read something in a book that made a lot of sense to me: "No apple tree tries to grow violets. It could not produce violets, nor could it be a good apple tree while it tried to."
I think it is not about "deciding" to be one or the other. It is about figuring out for ourselves what is most true to who we are inside.
I hope some of this helps a little. If nothing else, know that you can come here and write and we will listen. We'll be having our meetings on Wednesday nights too, so feel free to join us if you can make it. In the meantime, remember to breathe, and PLEASE be kind to yourself.
Love,
Debbie |
|
Replies:
|
|
|
|
|
Hey Webmasters! New Photo Album Service Launched - Check it out!
Reply
Forum
bravenet.com